Q: I'm pursuing my graduation and at home elder to my sister. My father looks after a business of his own and mom too is working. When I was in school I had a circle of good friends and all of us aspired for ace institute but unfortunately, due to some family adjustments I could not join any colleges out of my hometown and my friends are now studying outside. When I made the decision, my friends supported me and I could also see the pleasure and gratitude in the eyes of my family members. But now I feel very sad about myself and never feel like studying here. I miss my old friends, don't feel like making new ones in my college and so don't interact with anyone. This makes me feel even more left out. My grades are falling and this again gives me a feeling that I'm ruining my life. Most of the times I feel low and feel like crying. At times I blame my family and at times myself. I'm lonely, helpless and sad. Please help me.
-NishaA: Hey, Nisha I read about your problems and noticed a few good things about you. You took decision to stay back due to some 'family adjustments' which is quite a mature thing to do at a young age like yours. I appreciate that. Nextly, despite your problems you are wise enough to reach out and take help. That shows although you feel lonely and sad you are reasonable enough to have a sincere urge to fight this out. So your 'being mature and wise' are two assets that we can build upon. You mentioned that your friends are supportive so I would suggest you to keep in touch with them and start initiating friendship with new people of your college. You can initiate this friendship with small give and take of help (may be notes or advises on what books to refer etc). by this, you'll not feel lonely in college and keep always attached to your old buddies. Gradually when your classmates will also start responding you'll not even realize when you became friends. Try and find out if you can be of any assistance at your father's office. You see there are many small jobs over the computer, which I'm sure you might help your father's staff with. At times, in the evening plan small hang-outs (like over ice-cream) with your younger sister and think about some hobby class which will serve you doubly:
1. Keep you occupied.
2. Keep you happily occupied.
Q: I am suffering break-up with a girl who was my classmate. My friends say I look lost and my grades are also declining and I got back in two subjects. All this is happening for about a month and in about 5weeks I've my exam, which is important because I must clear those two papers. None of my friends got backs. Now I am unable to bear the load of a broken relationship and ensuing exam. I'm indeed suffering.
-Prateek
A: Prateek, I can well understand your suffering and also that you must be feeling stressed, but, you know where can I see a ray of hope in your story…the ensuing exam! Trust me, this exam is going to help you to shift your focus. It is going to answer your dilemma "ab mein kya karu". How? I'll tell you. Make a countdown chart for 5weeks. Plan (realistically) the amount of study one day at a time. For that one day, make small time slots (20 – 40mins). In each slot plan for may be 2 –3 ques/ans or half a chapter, howsoever is feasible. In the evening meet your friends and discuss some points. This discussion will also help to keep your talks in line and not let the topics wander to the past relationship. Gradually, and I mean it. Indeed, gradually your speed will improve and you'll see yourself giving a better output in your time slots. Once in a while if you give yourself a test and fare OK you'll realize your confidence is building up again. I can guess if you can follow according to this little advice then as exams come nearer you'll see yourself going farther to the hangover of your broken relationship.
Q: I am suffering break-up with a girl who was my classmate. My friends say I look lost and my grades are also declining and I got back in two subjects. All this is happening for about a month and in about 5weeks I've my exam, which is important because I must clear those two papers. None of my friends got backs. Now I am unable to bear the load of a broken relationship and ensuing exam. I'm indeed suffering.
-Prateek
A: Prateek, I can well understand your suffering and also that you must be feeling stressed, but, you know where can I see a ray of hope in your story…the ensuing exam! Trust me, this exam is going to help you to shift your focus. It is going to answer your dilemma "ab mein kya karu". How? I'll tell you. Make a countdown chart for 5weeks. Plan (realistically) the amount of study one day at a time. For that one day, make small time slots (20 – 40mins). In each slot plan for may be 2 –3 ques/ans or half a chapter, howsoever is feasible. In the evening meet your friends and discuss some points. This discussion will also help to keep your talks in line and not let the topics wander to the past relationship. Gradually, and I mean it. Indeed, gradually your speed will improve and you'll see yourself giving a better output in your time slots. Once in a while if you give yourself a test and fare OK you'll realize your confidence is building up again. I can guess if you can follow according to this little advice then as exams come nearer you'll see yourself going farther to the hangover of your broken relationship.
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