Pune is a city where left is right and right is wrong. Most of the roads have no right turns, no U turns etc. Traffic these days is growing alarmingly and insensible driving only adds to the woes.
Wait a minute!!! Are you confused what connection the above line has with the title…
Well you are right. This has no connection, but these days most of the things go this way.
Anyways, getting back to our story…
Some days in our life are just made for us where even wrong things done prove to be fruitful and some days are the exact opposite. (A relevant start finally)That was just the day not made for me. The beginning of the day itself was marked by a loud bang on the floor when I tried to be vertical from the bed and again became horizontal. My foot landed right on the floor mattress which obliged by slipping away and I had a rough landing onto the floor with my jaws baring the impact. The most visible impact was on my cheek bone which seemed like stung by a honey-bee, but much worse effect was the one that was revealed when I was brushing my teeth. One of the soldiers from 32-Dental Battalion was already threatening to rebel.
My mother promptly advised “You will provide a dentist with a day’s meal today”, but my mind was protesting as though it was a matter of pride and prestige. The maid said “ Baba, usko Laung ka tel lagao, apne aap theek ho jayega” (“Apply clove oil to it and it will be fixed automatically”). Mother added “Try cloves instead and chew it to extract juice”. I obliged and put the clove in my mouth. Now the fate had some enmity in store for me and so the clove stuck in the cavity between the injured tooth and the adjacent one. My sufferings were increasing like tides on full moon. The clove was just not ready to budge. After some attempts with fingers and tongue resulting in nothing but more pain, I tried a toothpick. This led the fury of hell as the pointed toothpick pricked the injured gum. It almost bled.( I could not find words to describe my pain).
Finally, after half an hour of wrestling, I could get the clove out. But I didn’t feel any difference as pain mounted was the same. Then to my horror I realized what had happened when I saw the clove. I had broken it into two with lower part still stuck in my teeth. I still was not ready to go to the dentist (I hated my miser nature for the first time in life). But to my relief, fate was not at extent of its cruelty. The lower part of clove was loosened by two pronged attack of finger and tongue. The clove surrendered finally.
Then I was told by my uncle to try and get the tooth massaged by hot water bag.
(Later I got to know that it was one of the horrible ‘don’t s’ with teeth). I got boiling water into bag and started with Operation Never Say Die. But as soon as I applied it to my cheek, I almost got a horrible burn mark. Only an idiot like me could do that, without checking the intensity of hot water. Now my face was looking like a clown with half make up or a red faced monkey. Now my tooth ache subsided momentarily as the burn marks ruled the roost in torture department. In despair and pain I kicked the hot water bag and it retaliated by spilling the hot water inside it. Now multiple parts of my body looked like an on duty clown. I almost forgot the tooth by now. At this stage anybody with a sensible mind would have surrendered but I was one of those brave idiots still not ready for a dentist.
Then weird thoughts began rushing into my mind. Maybe I could get somebody to punch me and get the tooth out automatically. (I know this is weird but when it goes wrong, it goes wrong completely). Maybe some brut force could do the trick. But then it could prove costlier if more than one of the dental comrades walked out. So it was discarded.
Then as I got out of home, trudging along the road carefully balancing every organ of my body which seemed like a barren place with weapons tested on it. Unaware, I stepped on the tail of our neighbour's dog that was having sun bath near our compound.
I was haunted by the whole army of casualties and accidents that day as the dog gave a loud howl and was mad at me. After that, I did the only sensible thing to do.
I started running for my life in any direction I could see, I saw a turn at some distance and reflexes made me turn and WHAM!!!
I collided with one of the many useless electricity poles that probably work as speed breakers for people who mount their vehicles on footpath. The same side of my face had got another impact. But this time it felt better momentarily, as the collision had loosened out the rebellious culprit. With the dog still behind me, I kept running and saw a staircase and got to it and entered a dimly lit room.
Then I could see, what my mother meant was right. I had unknowingly landed into a dentist’s office!!
Author: Kartik Kulkarni blogs at http://rebelinpeace.blogspot.com
###################################################
If you would like to share your articles/poems with Nagpurians, mail us at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
FB.init("6e13a373d2f3e7146bbf0c3781e39993");
